Mon Coeur Cotes du Rhone

What: J.L. Chave Mon Coeur Cotes-due Rhone 2007

Rating: 10

Price: $15.99 to $26.99 online (more at restaurants, per usual).

Non-Quantifiable Rating: So. Good. It. Causes. Sentence. Fragments.

Yes, that's a two digit rating you see there.  I know...I'm shocked too.

At Cave Vin last week, the waiter asked what we'd like for half price wine night.  I said something super helpful and sophisticated like: "Uhhh, dunno, something good, kinda Pinot-y...or whatever...and stuff."   Somehow, our waiter translated my request into: "I'd like the best wine ever, please."

OK, it's probably not the best wine ever, but it's the best wine this amateur oenophilic palate has encountered in recent memory.  It was great (albeit a bit tannic) the instant it opened, and became absolutely sensational after it sat for a while (I read online that someone decanted it and let it sit open for 36 hours before drinking).  It has dark berries, bittersweet cocoa, and a wee bit of coffee.  It's full-bodied, but it won't kick you in the pants.

My only complaint was that it was so good that it kept interrupting our dinner.  Every time one of us took a sip, we'd interrupt the other person to say something like "ooohhhwwowww" (again, that's my sophisticated palate talking).  It's that good.  It was pricier than we'd usually spend at a restaurant and we decided that if we could find it online for less than $20, it deserved a full 10 rating.  I did, so it is.

Shutter Island part 2

image (c) rottentomatoes.com

What: Shutter Island (the movie - 2009)

Rating: 6

Non-Quantifiable Rating: Good-looking, mildly creepy, super old-school and stuffed with cliches.  Kind of like Bill Clinton.

I very rarely regret reading books (except that droning Faulkner in the 10th grade - sorry Mr. Podas).  However, I reviewed the original book version of Shutter Island a while back and I wish I hadn't read it first, because it fully ruined the movie for me.

As you all know from the trailers, this is a period piece about the investigation of a maximum security mental institution in the 1950s.  This is not Scorcese's best effort, but it's a better-than-average movie given the steaming pile of digested hot dogs clogging movie theaters these days.  It is on the long side and the slow side (the latter of which is strange, given that it's a psychological thriller).  However, it has Scorcese's signature slickness, mental twisting and visual appeal. 

If you're a Scorcese fan, you'll probably like it.  If you you think you would enjoy sitting in the dark trying to solve a Rubik's cube for a few hours, you'll probably love it.  If you, like, totally wanted to see Valentine's Day instead and omigod, someone's DRAGGING you to this, like, stupid man flick, you'll definitely hate it.

Best Pancakes Ever (Whole Wheat!)

What: Whole Wheat Pancakes

Rating: 9

Non-Quantifiable Rating: Breaking News: Mrs. Butterworth breaks up with Hungry Jack and elopes with my pancakes.

I hate to be the one to bring down an industry, but I vote that we all collectively agree to quit buying pancake mix.  We must have reached a point of serious cooking-phobia if it has become worth it to drop four bucks on a box of pancake mix (into which you still usually have to add some combination of eggs, oil, or milk).

These pancakes are ridiculously easy, and you probably already have the ingredients in your kitchen.  And I haven't even come to the best part:  They are mind-bogglingly (not a word) delicious and healthy!  If you are still convinced that "whole wheat" equals cardboard, you clearly haven't tried these (or my whole wheat bread).

So put down the bright yellow box, and start cooking them from scratch.  After trying these light, fluffy, heavenly little cakes, you'll never go back.

WHOLE WHEAT PANCAKES (adapted from recipezaar.com)

Serves 4-6 (or two of me)

- 1 c. whole wheat flour

- 2 tsp. baking powder

- 1/2 tsp. salt

- 1 tablespoon honey

- 3 tablespoons oil

- 1 c. buttermilk (you can make your own cup of buttermilk by pouring 1 tablespoon of white vinegar into a

   one-cup measuring cup and filling it up to the top with regular milk.  I used vanilla soymilk and they were 

   extra sweet and rich).

- 2 large eggs

DIRECTIONS:

1) Stir oil and honey together in a bowl.

2) Add milk and eggs, and beat well.

3) In a separate bowl, mix together dry ingredients well.

4) Fold dry ingredients into wet ingredients.  Don't overstir - just until the flour is moistened.

NOTE:

- This makes a very thick batter.  Don't be tempted to thin it out - it is supposed to be thick.  This works best when you make smaller pancakes because they will puff up nice and thick and if you use too much batter, they won't cook through the middle before the outsides burn.

Cave Vin

What: Cave Vin (French restaurant)

Where: 5555 Xerxes Ave., Minneapolis

Rating: 9

Non-Quantifiable Rating: How do you say "Six more plates of goat cheese, please" in French?

You could drive by this place hundreds of times and never realize it was there.  I should know - I actually HAVE driven by this place hundreds of times, and never noticed it.  They didn't even have a sign until a few months ago.  Now that I know about it, I feel like a privileged member of the "in-the-know" crowd.  Of course, now you're part of that crowd too.  We should have a special handshake.

When you walk in to Cave Vin, you're greeted by a giant wall of wine (a good sign), and a cozy, bistro-like atmosphere.  It was hopping on a Monday night, and we quickly found out why. It's fantastic (and half-priced wine on Mondays and Tuesdays probably didn't hurt).  We cruised through the bread basket (I loooove restaurants that still have those!) and roughly 963 servings of appetizers and entrees, each of which surpassed the last.  Apparently there is one guy standing in the back hand-crafting each entree from scratch.  I bet that guy's email address is GnocchiWizard@UnFreakingBelievable.drool.

The service was attentive without being overbearing, and the wine list is amaaaazing (our waiter's spot-on recommendation will be reviewed shortly).  Some people might not like the fact that "cozy" translates to "I sort of feel like I could reach out and eat off the plate of the guy at the table next to me," but that makes it all the more authentically French.  And no, I didn't steal anyone else's food, but I can't say it wasn't tempting.  

All in all, this was easily one of the best meals I've had in recent memory.  Between the phenomenal food, great ambience and unassuming charm, it warrants the unusually high rating.  Fair warning: it's not exactly in the TGI Friday's price range, but it's not insane.  Besides, if I could afford to eat there more often, I'd have to also be able to afford new, roomier pants. 

La Granja Tempranillo

What: 2008 La Granja Tempranillo

Rating: 7

Price: $3.99 at Trader Joe's

Non-Quantifiable Rating: I dig the pig.

I'll be honest: I bought this wine because of the pink spotted pig on the label.  I didn't expect much from it, given the unknown brand and ridiculously low price, but the pig was too fun to pass up.

When I took the first sip of this wine, my low expectations were confirmed.  It smelled acrid and didn't taste much better (insert obvious pig/barnyard jokes here).  However, I'd already poured it into the decanter so I kept cooking dinner and let it sit for a while.  After 30 minutes, I noticed it smelled less pig-like, so I tried it again - and voila!  The pig just needed to air itself out for a while.  It's actually quite good.  A bit on the dry side, and a little bit of black licorice.  It's not very sophisticated, but it's very drinkable and more than worth the price.  Just don't forget to let the pig chillax for a while before you dive in.

Oreo Balls

What: Oreo Balls

Rating: 8

Non-Quantifiable Rating: I dare you to try eating only 700 of them.

Umm, I triple-checked this recipe to make sure there isn't some kind of illegal addictive substance involved.  It appears to be totally legal, but it probably shouldn't be.  The only reason this didn't get a 9 or a 10 is because they're kind of a pain to decorate, but it's worth it.  Consider this an alternative to those wonky Valentines hearts with words on them.

OREO BALLS (adapted from recipezaar.com)

INGREDIENTS:

- 1 package regular Oreos, crushed (I used my food processor but I bet a blender or an angry fork would work)

- 1 (8 oz) package cream cheese, softened

- 1 package white almond bark

- 1 package chocolate almond bark

- Sprinkles or festive frosting (optional)

DIRECTIONS:

1) Using a blender or hand held mixer, mix Oreos and cream cheese together.

2) Roll into walnut size balls, and chill for an hour or so.
3) Melt approximately 3/4 package of white almond bark.
4) Stick a toothpick in an Oreo ball and dip it in the melted white almond bark.
5) Allow to harden on wax paper (takes about 15 minutes).
6) While waiting, melt about 1/4 package of chocolate almond bark.
7) When Oreo balls are no longer sticky to the touch, decorate with drizzles of chocolate and white almond bark (I just use a sandwich bag with a tiny hole cut in one corner to drizzle the almond bark).

BEST OF: Workout Music

I'm one of those nut-jobs attempting an Ironman triathlon this year, but I have recently been sidelined from my training by a hamstring injury.  As a result, I've been doing a lot of cross-training (like squats to pull sheets of freshly baked molasses cookies out of the oven, shoulder circuits stirring cheese fondue, and the occasional bicep curl with a bottle of beer).

I've also been stuck spending a lot of time on the elliptical trainer, which generally involves staring out the window, flipping through the April 2006 issue of Car and Driver, and sharing air space with people who smell like a combination of Listerine and used hockey pads.

As I've discovered, nothing perks up an otherwise tedious gym session (or outdoor run, or any other kind of exercise) quite like a really good soundtrack. 

Without further ado, here are my highly subjective favorite workout songs, categorized by the best place they fit into a workout.  I included the song time so you can pick your favorites from each category and assemble them into a playlist customized to your workout.

Warm Up
1. Viva la Vida (Coldplay) - 4:01
2. The Obvious Child (Paul Simon) - 4:10
3. Jesus Walks (Kanye West) - 3:30

Work Out
1.  Bleeding Hearts Club (P.O.S.) - 3:21
2.  Friday Night (Girl Talk) - 1:46
3.  The Rockefeller Skank (Fatboy Slim) - 6:52
4.  Rebellion (Arcade Fire) - 5:12
5.  Don't Stop the Music (Rihanna) - 4:27
6.  Good Vibrations (Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch) - 4:28
7.  New Workout Plan (Kanye West) - 5:24
8.  Ditty (Paperboy) - 4:06

Heavy Hitters (these are always the last three songs on my playlists for marathons; they are miracle workers for when you think you're going to keel over and die).
1.  Prime Time of Your Life (Daft Punk) - 10:24
2.  B.O.B. (Outkast) - 5:06
3.  The Beautiful People (Marilyn Manson) - 3:24

Cool Down
1.  Take Five (Dave Brubeck) - 5:24
2.  Atlantic City (Bruce Springsteen) - 3:57
3.  Shine (David Gray) - 4:33

Super Bowl XLIV

image (c) http://www.wikipedia.org/

What: Super Bowl XLIV

Rating: 3

Non-Quantifiable Rating: Mehhh.

Usually when I watch the Super Bowl, I struggle with timing snack refills.  I don't want to leave during play time, because I actually enjoy football.  I don't want to leave during the ads, because I'm a media geek and I love Super Bowl ads.  And I definitely don't want to miss out on snacks.  Life is hard.

This year, I took about 47 snack runs, and it really didn't matter when I went. 

The game was surprisingly dull given how close the score was until the final minutes, and the ads were pretty much crap.  Given how tight the economy is this year, I'm surprised at how many companies were willing to spend a few million dollars to make me roll my eyes at thirty second intervals.

One bright spot among a sea of duds:  Google's Parisian Love ad. (What?!  Google has television advertisements?!)  [Media geek side note: the YouTube version includes a reference to American Airlines, but the version we saw in Minnesota featured Delta Airlines.  Holy regional target marketing, Batman.]

Bell's Special Double Cream Stout

What: Bell's Special Double Cream Stout Beer
Rating: 8
Price: $10.99 for a six pack
Non-Quantifiable Rating: Like a triple-espresso Mocha Latte, but perhaps not the ideal way to start your day...

If you've been following this blog, you know that I love ridiculously dark beer.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the merits of Premium and a PBR tall boy, but as a general rule, I pretty much opt for the darkest possible beer.  Thus, if you've never venutred beyond Keystone Light, you probably shouldn't trust my beer reviews.

Now that that's out of the way...YUM.  Bell's rarely disappoints, and this one is probably my favorite offering from their quirky and creative line.  It's a sweet milk stout that tastes like extremely dark chocolate with a little shot of roasted coffee.  It's 6.1% ABV which isn't as high as the liquor-wannabe Surly Darkness, but suffice it to say that you shouldn't make a beeline for your snowmobile after knocking back a couple of these.  Luckily, this isn't a "knock back a couple" kind of beer.  That's partly because of the steep price, and partly because of the beer itself: it's best enjoyed slowly, on a frigid night, safely away from all those other Keystone-fueled maniacs.

Chocolate Joe-Joe's

What: Trader Joe's Chocolate Sandwich Creme Cookies

Rating: 8

Non-Quantifiable Rating: Oreos' highbrow, chocolatey cousin

According to the questionable use of apostrophes in the name of this cookie, the cookies actually belong to someone named Joe-Joe.  If that is indeed the case, we should all be thankful to Joe-Joe for letting us borrow his cookies.

Storebought cookies will never replace homemade for me, but I have had a long and torrid affair with Oreo cookies (an addiction I inherited, and thus blame on genetics).  When my cousin offered me a box of Chocolate Joe-Joe's, I was intrigued by their Oreo-ness.  Several highly technical taste tests later, and the verdict is in:  sorry Oreos, but these are better.  The chocolate is chocolatey-er (speaking of questionable grammar....), the cream filling is creamier (and chocolate!) and they are all-natural with no un-pronounceable ingredients.  As they are Trader Joe's cookies they are a little pricier than Oreos, and you have to spend a couple more calories per cookie (worth it!), but these are going to blow the minds of any Oreo lover.

I've heard rumors about the mint version which appears around Christmas and has an obsessive cult following.  I can't picture liking those, but I'm willing to take one for the team and try them next Christmas. Stay tuned.

Birchwood Cafe

image (c) http://www.birchwoodcafe.com/

What: Birchwood Cafe

Where: 3311 East 25th St., Mpls, 55406

Rating: 7

Non-Quantifiable Rating: How did the guy in the corner wearing Sharpie-scribbled Chuck Taylors afford a $14 plate of eggs?

To fit in at the Birchwood Cafe, you have to be one of two types people: 

Option A is the emo/hipster U of M graduate student wearing a T-shirt that says "I slaughter meat eaters." 

Option B universally requires spandex, because you just came from/are just leaving on an epic bike ride and/or nordic ski, and need to fuel up.

This is a weird juxtaposition of demographic groups, and yet it fits this weird juxtaposition of a restaurant.  It's stuffed into an esoteric corner of the Seward neighborhood and the exterior is so bland that you could drive by a hundred times and never notice it.  However, the inside is a vibrant, welcoming, cheerful blast of colors and smells and too-cool-for-school decor. 

It's also a low-key, hippie-ish, clear-your-own-table kind of place but it has surprisingly high prices for the vibe.  Breakfast for two of us was $36 (although, to be fair, my dining companion ordered triple sausage and a beer.  Yes, they serve beer at breakfast.  Yes, I ate breakfast with a person who ordered beer for breakfast).

For the price, however, you get phenomenal food (and a lot of it).  I had a build-your-own scramble with avocado and gruyere cheese that was to die for (see photo below).  You even get to pick your own herb/spice topping - how novel!

Bottom line: great food, fun vibe, good people-watching, odd location, and too expensive to be a regular outing but perhaps not schmancy enough to classify as a "special occasion" place in some people's books.  Alas, a study in contrasts.