What: Season 14 (whoa) premiere of ABC's The Bachelor
Rating: 3
Non-Quantifiable Rating: This season's Bachelor is the guy in class who raises his hand at the end of the day to remind the teacher to assign homework.
Oy. This review requires me to admit that I actually watched the season premiere. Actually, I'll take it a step further: I generally go out of my way to watch the Bachelor. It's a serious character flaw for me, and I'll blame it on getting addicted watching with my roommates while in undergrad.
As the seasons have passed, ABC has gone to ridiculous lengths to incite drama as one person narrows down a field of 25 potential spouses. This time, they have made it easy on themselves by casting 25 girls who are all clearly recent graduates of the School of Pseudo-Fame for Desperate, Narcissistic, Emotionally Stunted Drama Queens who Never Quite Got Past Coming in Second in the 1986 Precious Little Miss Pageant.
To make matters worse, the guy these witches are all fighting over makes used car salesmen seem suave and sincere. Seriously, this one was painful, folks. It used to be that they'd at least try to make it look like the contestants weren't all aspiring models and actresses, but it would appear that they've thrown in the towel and embraced their deluded insta-fame factory. Gross.
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