The Blind Side

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What: The Blind Side (2009)

Rating: 7++

Non-Quantifiable Rating: Cheesy? Yes. Worth it? Totally.

I can't believe I'm giving such a high rating to a Sandra Bullock movie.  When watching "The Blind Side," which tells the story of a young man from the projects who is taken in by a rich, conservative white family who helps him find success in school and football, you can almost hear the producers saying "OK, now how can we make this movie appeal to the widest possible commercial audience?"

In other words, they spoon-feed the emotions to you and it's polished and shiny and predictable and not particularly intellectually stimulating, but it's still just really, really GOOD.  It's satisfying, uplifting, inspiring, and is one of those movies where you leave the theater with a genuine smile on your face.

I've heard Oscar rumblings for Sandra Bullock.  I tolerate her as an actress, but she doesn't usually take on roles that demand the kind of personal extension usually required by the Academy. This role is no exception. She doesn't have to be ugly, and she doesn't have to play a hooker.  However, there is something refreshing about seeing someone take on a very straightforward role and simply knock it out of the park.

The only reason I didn't give it a higher rating is because there is nothing life-altering about this movie, but seriously, go see it.  You'll like it.

Fulton Beer - Sweet Child of Vine

image (c) Fulton Beer; http://www.fultonbeer.com/

What: Sweet Child of Vine, by Fulton

Where: The Muddy Pig in St. Paul, MN

Rating: 9

Non-Quantifiable Rating: Somewhere, the Summit guy is nervous.

I went to the Muddy Pig with a small group, and three of us ordered Sweet Child of Vine.  This is a local brew made by good local folks, so as we waited for our beer to come, I'll admit that we were already talking about how much we all expected to like it.  When my beer came, I was a little nervous knowing that I planned to review this beer, because I want to support a local business enterprise, but I also feel obligated to be honest.

I didn't need to worry.  This stuff is legitimately, objectively stellar.

I prefer dark beer, one of the other Vine drinkers prefers a really hoppy beer, and the third one isn't very particular.  Somehow, this beer managed to please all of us.  It's definitely hoppy but a nice malty infusion keeps it from being overly tart; it's smooth and drinkable but definitely not mild; and it has enough personality to evoke the rare "ooh, wow" reaction when you take the first sip.  I suppose I would classify it as an IPA, but it would definitely gnaw the label off Summit's IPA (which I also like) in a fight.

I give Fulton a lot of credit for having the chutzpah to roll out with such a punch-packing, flavor-filled beer.  It would have been much easier and safer to start out with a crowd-pleasing yet unadventurous Mich-Golden Light doppelganger, but instead they took a risk and it paid off.

The only reason these guys didn't score my first-ever 10 out of 10 is because of my totally subjective preference for really dark beer.  I looked at http://www.fultonbeer.com/ and found out that they carry a stout (my favorite) called Worthy Adversary.  I might have higher standards for that one, but I'm willing to take one for the team and do the necessary research to find out if it is indeed worthy (it's a rough job, but someone's gotta do it.)

Chocolate Chip Cookies

What: Chocolate Chip Cookies

Rating: 8

Non-Quantifiable Rating: 8 is the highest rating I will ever, ever give for a straight up chocolate chip cookie, so these puppies are as good as it gets.

I made a massive batch of these cookies to donate to the homeless shelter run by St. Stephen's hospital in Minneapolis (but I accidentally on purpose crumpled 8 or 9 of them when I took them off the pan, so obviously I needed to eat those).They are not particularly healthy, they are not fancy, but they are fabulous.  Soft and gooey, and just a hint of golden brown around the edges.  They are also very easy to make.  Here is the recipe:

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES (adapted from Debbi Borsick on allrecipes.com)

Makes 72 big cookies, or about 120 smaller ones

-4-1/2 cups all purpose flour

-2 tsp baking soda

-2 tsp baking powder

-1/2 tsp. salt

-2 c. butter, softened

-1-1/2 c. packed brown sugar

-1/2 c. white sugar

-2 big (3.4 oz) packages of Jell-O instant pudding mix (I like vanilla, but use whatever you want)

-4 eggs

-2 tablespoons vanilla extract

-4 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips

-walnuts (optional, I didn't use them since I was making them for a big crowd who might have allergies)

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Sift the flower, baking powder, baking soda, and salt; set aside.

2. In a large pan, cream together the butter and both types of sugar.  Beat in the instant pudding mix until blended.  Then mix in the vanilla, and stir in the eggs.

3. Slowly add in the flour mixture and stir until blended.

4. Stir in the chocolate chips by hand (and walnuts, if you're using them).

5. Using clean hands, roll small pieces of dough into balls and drop them onto a parchment-lined cookie sheet.  Pat them down very slightly for a flatter shape if you prefer flatter cookies (either way, they will spread out as they cook).

6.  Bake for 10-12 minutes.  Pull them out of the oven while they still look a little soft; they will firm up as they cool.

7. Transfer cookies to a wire rack to cool completely.

8. Enjoy!  Nom nom nom.

BEST OF: Driving Music

From time to time, I’ll feature something that isn’t a review so much as a showcase. In general, these will be lists of what (in a totally biased, ego-centric and subjective way) I have determined to be the best of something.

With the holidays around the corner, a lot of folks will be heading off on road trips to visit family, so to send them on their merry way, this “best of” feature highlights driving music. Roll on, and enjoy my entirely arbitrary categories:

Best: Full Album for when the driver is susceptible to nodding off and hitting the buzz strips

Paul Simon, Graceland
Five Hour Energy not working anymore? Simon’s Rhythm of the Saints is also excellent, but when your eyes are drooping somewhere north of Alexandria, there is absolutely nothing like You Can Call Me Al to have you slapping the steering wheel and throwing on the cruise control so you can tap your feet to the music without accidentally braking.

Runner Up: Bruce Springsteen, Born to Run
No explanation necessary.  Sheer awesomeness.


Best: Song for a traffic jam (avert your eyes, Grandpa)

Geto Boys, Damn it Feels Good to be Gangsta
So you’re parked on the Dan Ryan Expressway in Chicago. This was exciting for the first five minutes, because you get a clear view of the Sears Tower. Three hours later, the novelty of the Sears Tower has worn off, you’ve already admired every vanity license plate and tinted window within a visible sphere, and you’re ready to throw something – or someone – out the window. Throw on this classic, made famous by the movie “Office Space.” It’s impossible to be mad or in a hurry with this song on. You can buy me a Chicago Dog to thank me later.  Disclaimer: I'm not responsible for the lyrics on this one.  You've been warned.


Best: Full Album for when you cannot possibly conceive of how many hours it has taken you to cross Iowa

Tim McGraw’s Greatest Hits
Oh, you say you don’t like country music? I defy you to crank this one up and not feel at least marginally more upbeat about the cornfields passing you by. Play a little game of “Cow versus Graveyard” with your passengers, and by the time McGraw is singing about wanting to grow old and “watch my corn pop up in rows,” you’ll have fleeting ideas of scoping out rural Des Moines real estate.



Best: Song to sing along with (weather permitting, with the windows rolled [or electronically lowered] down)

Aerosmith, Crazy
If you haven’t sung along to this song at the top of your lungs while driving, you simply have not lived. In spite of what Tom Cruise may have you believe, “Free Fallin’” has nothing on this one. It doesn’t even matter if you don’t know all the words: “Mannnanananananana, nanana, headin’ out to, Hollywooooood!”

If you live in climate warmer than Minnesota, I encourage you to stick your hand out the window and play with the wind resistance (you know, the hand waving thing that makes sure other drivers know how much more fun you’re having than they are) whilst blaring this song. Just make sure that if you are the driver, you don’t get so into the chorus that you actually close your eyes a’la Steven Tyler. If you’re the passenger? Go nuts.

Couples Retreat

image (c) http://www.yourmoviestuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/couples-retreat_290.jpg

What: Couples Retreat (2009)

Rating: 3

Non-Quantifiable Rating: Vince Vaughn owes me a cocktail

It's a really good thing I went to see this movie with people I like, because at least I had good company.  I'm ashamed to say that I picked this movie, and I had high hopes for the usually foolproof combination of writers/producers/actors Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau.

The movie was billed as a comedy, but it was actually pretty dark and spent entirely too much time dwelling on the characters' hopelessly dysfunctional marriages.  I know Vaughn and Favreau aren't exactly highbrow but I wouldn't expect them to lean heavily on borderline offensive racial and gender stereotypes to meekly attempt jokes (an attempt which was a waste of their credibility since the jokes mostly fell flat anyway).

They get a few points for a decent cast and gorgeous scenery, but seriously, for the $10 I spent on that ticket, I should have received a mid-film cocktail to compensate for the flick's painful inadequacy.

Chino Latino

image (c) http://z.about.com/d/minneapolis/1/0/m/3/-/-/chinolatino.jpg

What: Chino Latino
Where: Lake Street and Hennepin Avenue, Minneapolis
Rating: 2
Non-Quantifiable Rating: Ighhhhh....nobody in the world is as cool as Chino Latino thinks they are.


If you want to see a whooooole lot of 22-year-old girls wearing last season's daddy-purchased BCBG and too much perfume and a whoooooole lot of 40-year-old men wearing the paper headbands and pretending to be in college whilst ogling the aforementioned needy 22-year-olds, this is your place. Otherwise, jaywalk to Chiang Mai Thai and save yourself the obligatory eye-rolling and long, pointless waiting.

About 1% of me thinks their menu and marketing plan is funny and innovative and avant-garde, and the other 99% thinks it's wildly racially and sexually offensive. And I'm not usually overly touchy. This place tries WAYYYY too hard and realized that their food quality and service doesn't warrant their prices so they had to be controversial in order to attract a crowd.

In fairness, I look forward to my annual New Year's Eve trek to this place because it's a tradition, but I live two blocks away and you'd have to pay me to make an effort to go back during the rest of the year.

A Film to Remember

image (c) http://www.parentpreviews.com/legacy-pics/affair_to_remember.jpg

What: An Affair to Remember (1957)

Rating: 7

Non-Quantifiable Rating: The grandmother of all chick flicks

This movie practically begs to be watched whilst in sweatpants with a tub of Ben and Jerry's and a box of Kleenex.  Like most people from my generation, my only prior knowledge of An Affair to Remember came from the 973 references to it in "Sleepless in Seattle."  I figured it was finally time to see it.  Here are the high and low points::

High: It doesn't pretend to be anything it's not.  It's romantic, it's cheesy, it's sad, and if that's what you're in the mood for, you'll be happy.

High: The romantic female protagonist is 36 years old, and yet there is not one reference to a ticking biological clock.  Kudos, 1950s.

Low: A quick IMDB search revealed that the chick who plays Cary Grant's grandmother is only 16 years older than him in real life.  That had to be an awkward casting job: "Hey, you look roughly 35 years older than you actually are, so you can have the role."

Low: This movie is so sappy, it warrants the same description my dad once used for a Tom Jones song: "It's like you ordered a cake and asked them to double the sugar and add 150 angel figurines."

Constant Princess

What: The Constant Princess

Author: Philippa Gregory

Rating: 6

Non-Quantifiable Rating: Henry VIII was a doofus.

This is probably my least favorite of Gregory's books, but that's also like saying that something is my least favorite variation of a hot fudge sundae: it's still worthwhile, I've just encountered better.

This book follows Henry VIII's first wife, Katherine of Aragon.  I used to feel bad for her because she got royally (pun intended) screwed over by Anne Boleyn's ambitions and subsequently dethroned.  However, this book reveals that she was actually a crazy conniving lady herself, so she probably had it coming.

Gregory's books are fabulously well researched, fast paced, and very accessible. This one is no exception. Bottom line: if you liked The Other Boleyn Girl (FYI, the book is better than the movie in that case) or you're a Tudor English history nerd, you'll find this one worth your time.

Innocent Bystander

What: Innocent Bystander Pinot Noir

Where: $17.99 on wine.com, or $50 at Jones in Singapore

Rating: 9

Non-Quantifiable Rating: Don't just sit there, order a case now!!

Innocent Bystander, where have you BEEN all my life?!?!  It is probably good that this isn't a $6 bottle of wine, because that could cause serious consumption problems for those of us in the euphemistically labled "under-employed" category.  I had this at a restaurant in Singapore and it was $54, but I looked it up on wine.com and those thrifty little buddies are selling it for $17.99 (which doesn't make any sense whatsoever, given Singapore's relative proximity to the Yarra Valley in Australia where the wine's from, but whatev.)

Ergo, under 20 bucks is the price to pay for this velvety bottle of scrumptiousness (and with a 90+ rating, it's all the better of a value).  Pinot Noir is my favorite wine, but there's a massive range of quality in Pinots.  I tend toward the more full-bodied ones, but some of those can be too acidic.  This one is extremely smooth and just sweet enough without being all Singapore Slingy.  I was lucky enough to drink it alongside a massive cheese platter (thanks, Nick and Julie!), and it stood up to the blue cheese without knocking down the milder Brie.

It's a screw top, which was a little disconcerting at first.  However, according to my brother's brother-in-law (did you get that?), a seasoned wine aficionado, screw tops are not necessarily indicative of a bad wine; rather, synthetic corks are deal-breakers (that and...umm....boxes....and wines that start with "Boone's" and end in "Farm".  Not that I would know.)

Singapore Sling!

What: Singapore Sling (Review and Recipe!)

Where: Raffles Hotel, Singapore

Price: 27 Sing Dollars (!)

Rating: 5

Non-Quantifiable Rating: British Colonists must have had a lot of cavities

Apparently, no trip to Singapore is complete without a stop by the famous famous Raffles Hotel.  And apparently, no trip to the Raffles Hotel is complete without the famous Singapore Sling, a drink that was invented at this swanky British Colonialist establishment.

Despite the rather appalling price tag, I succumbed to tradition and settled in for a drink.  The Long Bar is open to the elements, and palm fronds wave from the ceiling in a quasi-feeble attempt to combat the tropical temperatures.  Each table has a dish of peanuts on it, so the floor is carpeted in peanut shells (Williams Bar, anyone?).

As for the drink: ummm, well, it's like sucking down a melted jolly rancher.  Seriously...it's almost unbearably sweet.  I think this is what British Colonialists must have fed underage girls to get them to agree to a date (ew).  I am more of a beer-or-full-bodied-wine girl myself, but I know that some people do enjoy drinkign liquified sugar, so I got them to give me the recipe:

SINGAPORE SLING RECIPE:

- 30 ml Gin

- 15 ml Heering Cherry Liquor

- 120 ml Pineapple Juice

- 7.5 ml Cointreau

- 7.5 ml Dom Benedictine

- 10 ml Grenadine

- Dash of Angostrua Bitters

- Garnish with Cherry and a slice of Pineapple

Kickin' it in Kuala Lumpur

What: Day Trip

Rating: 6

Non-Quantifiable Rating: Nice people, malicious sidewalks

Thanks to this day trip, I have now been to 27 countries (I want to count Iceland, but I've only ever been to the airport and my brother says you have to go to the same airport 23 times to count it on your country list).  I can honestly say that the Malay people are perhaps the nicest of any country I've ever been to.

I went on a solo day trip (strangely enough, I've never gone on any solo trips before - not even to Duluth - and my first one ever was to Kuala Lumpur!) and about five minutes into my trip I managed to trip on an uneven sidewalk and slice my foot open.  I hobbled over to a nearby nursing school, where the nursing instructors hovered and clucked and worried and patched me all up, no questions asked and no bill to pay.  Amazing.

I also got myself lost several times, and every time, someone very kindly gave me directions.  These folks seem a lot less hurried and uptight than Singaporeans, but they still live in a happening, bustling city.  Kuala Lumpur is a study in contrasts: massive, ostentatious skyscrapers next to crumbling buildings; sleek Mercedes parked next to rusting pick-ups designed to transport migrant workers; sprawling megamalls next to tiny, ornate temples.  I did enjoy my view from the famous Petronas Towers:

I enjoyed walking around Kuala Lumpur but I didn't get to see as much of the character of the city as I'd have liked, especially given my limited mobility (which was the fault of my klutziness, not the city itself).  I was disappointed in the number of big malls and chain stores, but the incredible kindness of the people made up for it.  That, and my fabulous green curry and mai tai at MyThai:

Paranormal Letdown

What: Paranormal Activity (movie, 2007)

Rating: 4

Non-quantifiable rating: Yawn.

Don't worry, there are no spoilers in this review, except that I thought the movie was lame.  This is going to sound INCREDIBLY smug, but bear with me....I watch lots and lots of scary movies, and only one has ever truly freaked me out: Roald Dahl's "The Witches" which I watched at Beverly Edhlund's 8th birthday party in 1991 and had nightmares for weeks and weeks (and weeks...and weeks....).

Ever since then, I have been on a hunt to re-create that feeling (not that I want nightmares, but I like being spooked out).  Nada.  Nothing.  I once knew someone who didn't believe me that movies didn't scare me, so he made me watch all the scaries ones he could find (Exorcist, Psycho, etc.).  It's not that I am even a particularly brave person; I am convinced that the reason they don't get to me is because I can't let myself have that suspension of disbelief.  I am too good at mentally backing up a few feet and seeing a script supervisor and a boom operator.

I had really high hopes for "Paranormal Activity."  It's supposed to be one of the scariest movies ever made.  I watched it alone, and walked out into a dark booming thunderstorm (seriously, the Gods are trying to make it scary for me, but it's not working).  It's not a bad movie, the acting is really good, but there was nothing to make you jump in your seat or walk around creeped out after the movie.  Maybe I'll report back tomorrow and will have had terrible nightmares; we'll see.  I want to hear from other people, because I can't be the only person who wasn't scared by this movie.  Seriously, I'm not that brave.  Anyone?

I'm going to go watch "The Witches" again.  Freaky, freaky kids movie.  :)

Beautiful Book

What: Beautiful Boy

Author: David Sheff

Rating: 8

Non-Quantifiable Rating: Meth bad. Book good.

Oof, Andre Agassi should have read this one.  I whipped through it in less than 24 hours which is usually a sign that a book is a nice light beach read.  Not so much.  This book is painful.  It tells the story of a father watching his son fall victim to a devastating crystal meth addiction.  It is extremely well-written, and includes so much keenly observed detail that it makes me wonder if the author would lecture his son and then dash off to his office to write down the conversation while it was still fresh.

The book is very good, and I do recommend it.  It further confirms my suspicion that I would be an awful parent, but that's not new information.  It also makes me want to hug my family a little tighter.  Read at your own risk.

Scary Monster

What: Archer Farms Monster Trail Mix

Where: Target Stores, and in my dreams

Rating: 8

Non-quantifiable rating: Monster: 1; Ellen's willpower: 0

I am still in Singapore, and it's Halloween, and there is a monster in my suitcase.  Three monsters, actually.  Luckily, they're secured in neat little plastic bags with labels on them.

Monster trail mix is so good it's scary.  It's not very sophisticated, but it's a sublime mix of peanuts, chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, M&Ms, and raisins.  It's not so much "trail mix" as "candy" but whatever.  Normally I pride myself on willpower, but it's terrifying the way a bag of this stuff empties itself in my presence.  I can't give it 10 stars because the nutritional facts are just as horrific as how good it is.

I brought it so I could eat it on the plane ride back to Minnesota, but chances are I won't have any left by then.  Stupid yummy monster.